300 miles and 103 years apart

As I watched the Cardinals win their 11th world series in the last 100'ish years and my avid Cardinals fan of a friend gloat on Facebook about it, i thought, "Why Oh Why did i become a Cubs fan?" Ok, i was born in Chicago but just 300 miles away i could have been born a Cardinals fan and not have to suffer like this year, after year, after year. I would love if the "rivalry" (i use the term loosely here as this is about the same scale rivalry as fat kids vs cake, or ears vs Tyson) looked like this:

Sadly, it looks more like this: 

Oh the life of a Cubs fan....

If you look at the hole the Cubs are in, it is really quite depressing from a fan's perspective. Soriano, Zambrano, no farm system b/c of the Garza trade, and we hired the wrong manager. I mean lets talk about that one for a second....Ryan Sandberg is a Chicago legend, HoF'er, and put in his time as a minor league manager where he won at every level....so of course the Cubs hire Mike Quade? Seriously a horrible decision. 

I have seen the cubs have a top farm system loaded with prospects, only to see those prospects reach the majors and have no plate discipline and fizzle out within a year or two (I'm looking at you Corey Patterson and Felix Pie). I have said for many years the Cubs need a vision from the top down and the minor league system puts an emphasis on developing major league hitters. 

So imagine the happiness I have now that we have hired THE SLUMP BREAKER 

and he is rumored to be soon firing the mistake that is Mike Quade and replacing him with Ryno Sandberg. Finally a vision. Finally an opportunity. And yet again my optimism is high, maybe not for next year, but for the future. 

So bye bye Fielder! Bye bye Pujols! Diagf Grienke, Gallardo, Wainwright, and Carpenter.....THIS IS THE CUBS CENTURY, were due!

Home dogs, bye weeks, and never learning my lesson

Some people never learn their lesson. Take athletes for example. This week making headlines we have the Pats TE apologizing for taking these pics with this porn star

Hello Bibi Jones

Now i think two things when stuff like this happens

1) WGAF! Hes a pro athlete not exactly an expert on morals

2) What was he thinking? Like ok he comes out, "Bla bla bla me so sorry." 

Look buddy either you're lucky that at the age of 23/24 you are a millionaire and can bang out pron stars non stop, in which case dont f'ing apologize. Or you're an idiot for not realizing that this may get out and ruin your good guy rep. Either way i dont want to hear an apology, in fact, i kinda envy/hate you for this. It really makes you think, "What was this guy thinking?" 

Then you have guys like me, who define insane. I literally am going to go against everything i have "learned" about sports betting and go with the same old things and expect different results. 

Vegas appears to be pissed. The secret is out that some teams in the NFL just SUCK! And they are loading the lines like i have never seen them before. Some things i always look for when im cruising the lines looking for ways to burn money..... Home dogs, dont fall for the good team @ a bad team trap of betting the good team. Home field is HUGE in the NFL and anytime you can get points at home you should probably take them. Teams coming off a bye with a good head coach. 2 weeks to prepare for any team is going to give a good head coach a big edge, and an extra week of resting up the roster cant hurt either. And public money, if a high percentage of the public is betting a game and you too like that game.....fade it. Seriously, either dont bet it or bet against it and thank me later when crazy shit happens to what otherwise would have been a heartbreaker if you went with the public. This also works for overs and unders

So without further rambling, here are my week 8 picks

Philadelphia -3 @ 120 - For those of you who are just becoming degenerate @ 120 means i bought the hook. The line is/was 3.5 so i bought it down to 3 to gain that edge in case a field goal is all the Iggles win by. I think Dallas is good buttttttttt i also think Romo is more banged up than we are aware of and the Eagles should still have some great value in them b/c of that horrible start. Add to that they are at home and coming off a bye with Andy Reid and SHIP IT.

Denver +3 - Detroit is hitting the skids, Tebow and little baby Jesus are at home where they have a HUGE home field advantage....thats really all i got. I dont love love this line, but i do like that the public is very obviously betting Detroit @ 70'ish percent the last i checked and the Broncos are at home as dogs just kinda put me over the top. Tebow is going to do just enough to handcuff the Broncos organization into rolling with him before he shows his true colors and turns into a pretty good/great H-Back. It's like the final LOL_F U from Josh McDaniels. 

Pittsburgh +3 - And here is where i just ram my head into a brick wall Pt.. 1....New England is coming off a bye and has Billy B as their coach and Tom holy shit i want your life Brady at QB. But Pittsburgh's offense i coming to life and i think they are going to burn this NE D. Add to that they are at home and getting points and I'm rolling with the Steelers to stop getting owned at home by the Pats....at least this week.

Seattle +3 - Rookie QB on the road @ a hostile environment against a sneaky good D and the vaunted Home Dog edge.....seriously though LOL @ this toilet bowl

St. Louis +14 @ 120 - And part 2 of my banging of head against wall expecting different results. I WILL NOT BET AGAINST 2 TD lines!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am once again taking the 2 TD's and hoping that St Louis has a bit of pride and keeps it somewhat close at home against a Saints team that might be a little pumped from that face fucking they did to the Colts. 

After last week i am 16-6-1 on the year which is absolutely not sustainable and this might be the week where I say, "wtf was i thinking?!!?!??" after its all over with....

The good news, however, is while looking for the Granikamosky or whatever his name is pic of him and the BiBi i found this gem and figured out what he was thinking

Set, GO!

Just to make sure I have no female readers I'll post a picture of the most hated woman out there right now

Only 5 games this week. First excuse of this horrible exercise coming up.....now keep in mind we still had a winning week last week, but the games i lost i can learn 2 lessons from. 1) Don't bet on horrible teams 2) don't try to pick 10 games a week just for the sake of betting 10 games a week. I think  last week i was still high off my 7-1-1 first week and thought, "yeah, i can pick 9 or 10 games every week and rake it." So this week i picked the games i felt best about and it only came out to 5, and they are probably in the order i like them too....or close enough.

Denver +2.0 @ Miami - This feels like free money. Miami is in the driver's seat of the overused, "Suck for Luck" playoffs. They have a shit home field advantage, Matt Moore at QB, their best player, Brandon Marshall, wants Luck as much as anybody, and their coach could give two shits as his ass is grass after this season or once they've clinched Luck. Meanwhile you have Tim Tebow and baby Jesus on the Bronco's side so that's good for the win right there. 

Tampa +1 vs. Bears - I seriously hate the Bears. Jay Cutler is a loser and the one thing that pisses me off most about the Carson Palmer trade is now it vindicates the Cutler trade. I hate that teams haven't gotten the memo.....DON'T KICK TO DEVIN HESTER!!!!!!!! and  they never do what they are supposed to do. Win games against great teams and lose against shite and I feel like people are expecting them to win, and so does Vegas as they somehow made Tampa a home dog to Da' Bears! I feel like Tampa really got woken up by that Niners beat down and will play another great game at home and then Vegas will readjust. 

Jets +3 vs. SD - Another home dog? And I feel a little less sure about this one but the Jets at home in sort of a must win game for them, I'll take the 3 vs a Charger's team that hasn't had the Norv Turner letdown really yet this year.

Kansas City +3.5 @ Oakland - Ugh! I actually literally just added this game. I know, it goes against my initial, "don't bet on shit teams" statement earlier in this very blog but sometimes i just cant help myself. KC is coming off a bye, Cassel has actually been on fire, maybe they figured out what to do at RB during the bye, and Oakland is starting either Kyle f'ing Boller or a QB who was chillen on a beach for the last year or so, and the public is betting Oakland at 72%...... Ugh sign me up for the fade on public money

Panthers -2.5 vs Redskins - I think the Redskins ride is over and I hate myself for it but I am sort of on the Cam Newton bandwagon. 

Falcons + 4 @ Detroit - I'm a Niners fan. And as a Niner's fan I remember those great starts with talented teams and then the stomach punch that was Bret Favre that threw us into like an 0 - 8 skid. I'm not saying the Lions will go that path as obviously they have a much better QB and a freak of a WR that can basically win them games on their own, but I am thinking the Falcons were looking at Frank Gore's 15 rushes for 127,468 yards and salivating at the prospect of Turner doing the same thing and parlaying that into some play action confidence building passes for Matt Ryan. And for a week or 2 i think the league will adjust and the Lions, playing the hard part of their schedule, will come back to reality.

Last week - 4-4
Season - 11-5-1

Cowgirl up!

Alright, a little later than i would have liked to post these but i put it off until the last minute and then was super busy today moving into my new place....Maybe next week I will go more in depth, maybe not, either way here are the stone cold locks....bet em or fade em

Lets start off with a little MFK for the  Lock of the Week!

How can you not bet the cowboys this week?

Talent wise i dont think anybody is doubting the Cowboys. Young Oline, nice skill players, and their last 10 games have been decided by 4pts or less.
Not to mention they are going up against THE WORST pass defense in the NFL that has been torched by the jets and dolphins ffs.
AND the cowboys are coming off a bye week which means 2 weeks to prep for this game and get healthy.

Dallas +7 = ez money


Rams +15 @ GB
15? 15? After a bye that gave McDaniels a chance to gameplan for a pretty poor GB pass defense. I dont think the rams have much of a shot but 15 FUCKING POINTS????

Colts +7 @ Cinci
Did we forget that the Bengals are the Bengals? Im never EVER not taking the 7 against the Bengals

Browns +6.5 vs Raiders
At first glance i fucking loved the raiders but the more i thought about the more i leaned to the browns side. 1) if you havent noticed i love teams coming off byes. 2)the raiders always do the opposite of what they should.


Eagles - 1 @ Washington
First time all year Im thinking the Eagles will cover

Tampa Bay +6 vs NO
Coming off a big loss and now they are back home. Im willing to bet Freeman and that coach have this team ready to at the least keep it close.

Dallas ML +250
Did i mention i love this game?

Jets/Miami under 43.5

Matt Moore? Iffy RB's? Rex Ryan D? Jets Offense? I cant see any way these two teams score 20 points combined

Sorry so short but im fucking done SON

The Degenerate

Let me start off by saying......actually in my return to the degenerate blog let me start off by posting a picture of a slutty asian

This is Asa Akira and i had the pleasure of meeting her irl at the porn convention back in January 2010. She is really dominating the asian porn game right now.

Ok with that out of the way here we go with this blog.

So I am not one of the poker players who made the migration to a 3rd tier type site like Bodog, Merge, etc. A few reasons for this....

1) I am too busy to put in serious volume and risking any amount of money for such a minimal return / dealing with the headache of withdraws, or probably more accurately deposits, just isnt worth it to me.

2) If you cant trust the main sites like AP/UB or FTP how much can you really trust these lower sites?

3) A good friend of mine got burned by a less reputable site for a good sum of money

I have been coping ok without having a degenerate outlet for the past 6'ish months ever since black friday, but recently......oh man am i getting some degenerate itch!

Some old army friends and i have put pretty solid plans together for a March Madness Vegas trip. I am in a few fantasy football leagues (and just took 2nd in a baseball league), but they are not for money b/c the DOJ made it damn near impossible to arrange payments and to hold them in escrow.....although im not quite sure why we didnt just utilize paypal tbh.

Obviously a 6 months away vegas vacation and free fantasy sports are not going to satisfy my itch here though.

UGH, ok ill admit it i also recently signed up for zynga poker and am playing somewhat seriously.....fml!!!!!!!!!

But besides all of this i just recently, as in today was my first day recently, started mock sports betting. I am basically keeping track on an excel sheet the games i would bet and the outcomes of those ducktale bets. (ducktales = not real if that lost you)

At this point im sure some of my long time followers are facepalming the shit out of me, but hear me out. I have ALWAYS been a losing sports bettor. So i am trying to beat a game that is near unbeatable and then next season start small and see where i end up at this (given that i end this mock season a winner).

So without further ado, my week 5 games (i will from now on make a pre gameday post of my picks so you can follow along......

Week 5

Oakland +6 

Green Bay -5.5

Detroit -6

Bengals +3.0

Carolina + 6

NYJ +9

KC / Indy over 38.5

Cincinnati / Jags under 37

As you can see i am 6-1-1 with one more game to go

So goodbye poker blog, hello fake sports betting blog