Monday, August 6, 2012

It's the most wonderful time of the year.....for degenerates

Let me start off by saying that i hate the title of this blog post. I mean don't get me wrong it reflects how i feel about this time of the year and all but that fact that it is even remotely associated with Christmas makes me want to puke.

Now I'm not a big holiday person. I genuinely hate opening gifts because i feel like the spotlight is on me and i never like the presents i get. It's weird because i am such a good gifter and i am so easy to read. Just get me something cool people!!! I mean that or lets just get it out there and agree to not give anything to each other. Of course my friends would never want to do that because then they would be losing out on an awesome gifting buddy whom they can get some pos gift for and always know they are getting something awesome.

I had my wife getting close to agreeing to say f the holidays and instead of participating in the Christmas shopping and exchanging and family fighting we could take our holiday budget and go to Hawaii, or Jamaica, or St. Thomas, or Catalina Island...you know somewhere much more awesome than Madison, WI in the winter.

Then she went and got pregnant. So last Christmas was, "Lets start awesome traditions for the baaaaaaaabbbbbby" Christmas. And obviously i saw the trainwreck this was turning into but the sucker in me pictured winning against the odds and it being the start of ideal holiday seasons that would last my kids entire life. We'd come together and exchange gifts and eat good food and everybody would laugh and hug and shit as the kids jokingly shook their heads every Christmas morning while mommy and daddy had one too many cocktails.

Of course as every holiday season does and as i knew this one would it turned into fighting and hurt feelings because "I got so and so this and that and they didn't send their gift on time and OMG it's f%**$# used gift cards bla bla bla." Then it was misreable out, but not because it was too cold but because it was just a mildly cold, no snow, everything is just brown and dead holiday season.

Then after all was said and done and the dust was settling on the fighting i had the pleasure of being reminded how little was left in the bank but at least i got to enjoy some time on the beach in the middle of winter and escape with a nice vaca....oh right.

So this is the time of year i enjoy. The time of the year when i and millions of other degenerates start believing we are winning sports bettors again.

It means it's the time of the year for us to not just believe we are winning sports bettors, but winning bettors at the sport in which the average joe has the least edge against the casino, football betting season is here.

It means despite the fact that 95% of the time i realize i am a horrible sports bettor. ESPECIALLY when we are talking football there will be a spot or two this season where i go on a hot streak and envision myself going on an awesome run on bodog, excuse me "Bovada" and despite their odds i cover myself in online riches only to be unable to cash out and cursing the DOJ in a one too many Ale Asylum: Contorter Porter rants on this very blog.

What can i say? Degens gonna degen

More importantly than the sports betting though it is also time for fantasy football. And you know what that means?

It means it's time for me to do an insane amount of mock drafts and completely ignore my wife and kid.

It means it's time for the Fantasy Flyers to OWN the draft and then be cursed by bad luck.

It means it's time for a certain blogger to run his mouth even as he sees his ship to fantasy football championship glory sailing away.

It means it's time to flush another season's worth of buy-ins down the toilet and just write them off as lost sports bets. YES!!!

It means it's time for me to post a lot of pictures of scantily clad women in sports gear while my wife shakes her head in disgust at all the downloaded pictures saved to my desktop.



It is indeed the most wonderful time of the year

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